Okay, I know that God is all-knowing, all-powerful, sovereign. So that means He knows all about my sleeplessness, the panic I feel when my husband leaves for work in the morning and I am running on fumes. He knows that I feel like I cannot go on and He is completely aware of my helplessness.
He knows that I am desperately praying my daughter will sleep for at least another hour, even as I hear her start to stir. I am dreading the wake-up knock on her door (her routine for some odd reason is to knock and let me know she’s up) and praying that the Baby at least will stay down for more than a fifteen minute nap.
They say the Joy of the Lord is our strength and I think I can get that on a subconscious level. However, when every muscle and joint in my body is screaming at me to sleep so it can refresh itself, I find myself struggling to hold on to joy. It’s a handful of water that seeps out through my fingers as I race to catch every precious drop, knowing it is futile.
For me anyway.
It’s not the Joy of the LORD for no reason is it? So Lord, I am weary and wilting, my limits pressed to the breaking. If Your Joy is my strength, then that means I have nothing to do with it and I NEED you to infuse me with You. Your energy, Your Spirit, Your refreshment…Your Joy.