The one major drawback to living in the Midwest for me? The long, cold winters…
For someone who is grossly affected by weather changes, sunless, dreary days are just the epitome of depression-inducement. I really struggle with this aspect of myself because I know that it is not from God. I give in really easily to grumpiness and pessimism, allowing my attitude to permeate my entire day.
On the upside, this also means that the sunny, warm days of spring, summer, and even a little bit of fall just fill me with joy and energy. My baby is two months old on the sixteenth of this month and the lack of sleep would normally be extremely dampening to my spirit. However, with the return of spring and the warm, sunny weather, I am finding myself full of an energy that only comes from the spark of God-given life.
I am thrilled to be alive…
This month marks a lot of new changes in our lives. Financially, physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally…it’s all there in the works as God molds us like once-more pliable clay. I have felt the hardening that creeps into my heart at times when depression and stress and trying to do it all on my own takes over. It scares me just how hardened I can get and how much I end up taking for granted before I end up surrendering to God once again. Such a roller coaster of ups and downs – my old self still rears its ugly head at the worst of times.
You know what I notice the most during these times of willful rebellion? My imagination and creativity take a nose dive into the abyss. I have been working on several manuscripts and stories. It is amazing and daunting what lack of surrender to God does to my writing. Everything either sucks royally, or my mental block kicks in full force. We truly are tied indubitably to our Creator. We can truly do nothing without His blessing and grace. Why do I forget this so easily?
Bella is standing on the window seat and staring at the activity going on outside. It is still a bit chilly this morning, or she would be out there herself. I cannot wait to watch her and Luke chase birds, dance in the rain, and play on our nearly two acres of lawn.
Life is truly a beautiful experience even through the pain and tears. With all that goes on in our world today, all the despair and hopelessness, all the evil…it’s still amazing what we can find to bring us joy. God is our provider, our Creator, our Healer, and our Savior among many other attributes.